I get asked all the time “how do you do it?” Or I get told “you’re such a strong mama.” Not that I totally don’t appreciate the compliments, because I really do. It’s just I don’t see this incredible strength everyone is talking about.
Sure we smile, laugh, joke around everyday, take family photos, and look like we are “holding it all together so well,” but the ugly truth behind it all is we are breaking apart. Just because we are just trying to live life doesnt mean we arent terrified, crying, and numb on the inside. We are. We are so scared seeing our child in pain and going through this.
We are not strong. We cry daily. We want to give up often. We long for a life without pain and suffering.
But we just do what any parent would do in this situation. We arent these exceptionally strong people, we just take care of our kid. We put on a brave face. For Kevin, and for our families.
And at night, when no one else is awake, we break down. We know we are not strong, but we do know that Kevin IS. And that’s all we really need to put on that brave face and get through the day.